How to start loving yourself?

Let me start by saying this: self-love isn’t always pretty. It’s not always face masks, bubble baths, or motivational quotes. Sometimes it’s crying at 2 a.m. because you feel lost. Sometimes it’s setting a boundary that makes your voice shake. Sometimes it’s just getting out of bed when your heart feels heavy.

I used to think self-love was for people who had it all together — who woke up glowing and confident, who looked in the mirror and liked what they saw. But the truth? Self-love often starts in the most broken places.

And that’s okay.

Because self-love isn’t a destination — it’s a daily decision. A journey. A practice. And you deserve to be on that journey, no matter where you’re starting from.

1. Self-Love Is Not About Being Perfect — It’s About Being Real

I spent so long trying to “fix” myself. My body, my personality, my emotions. I thought that once I changed enough, I’d finally be worthy of love — even my own.

But self-love doesn’t come after you meet some imaginary standard. It comes when you stop running from yourself. When you sit with your flaws, your past, your softness — and you say, “Even now, I’m enough.”

That moment? That’s where healing begins.

2. The Way You Speak to Yourself Matters

We talk to ourselves more than we talk to anyone else. And for the longest time, my inner voice was cruel. I said things to myself I’d never say to a friend.

If that sounds familiar, I want to gently remind you: your inner world shapes your outer life. When you start replacing criticism with compassion — even a little — things change.

✨ Start with this:

• “I’m allowed to take up space.”
• “I am doing the best I can with what I have.”
• “I don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love.”

You don’t have to fully believe it yet. Just start saying it. The belief will catch up.

3. Self-Love Is Also Saying ‘No’

Loving yourself isn’t always soft. Sometimes, it’s fierce.

It’s walking away from what drains you. It’s choosing rest over constant productivity. It’s protecting your peace, even if it disappoints others.

Self-love is choosing you, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

4. You Deserve to Be on Your Own Side

There’s something powerful about becoming your own safe space. About knowing that no matter what happens — who stays, who leaves, what works out or falls apart — you will still be there for yourself.

Not with judgment. But with grace. With patience. With a hand on your heart saying, “I’ve got you.”

That’s self-love.

5. Celebrate the Small Things

We often wait for big moments to feel proud — a promotion, a milestone, a transformation. But self-love grows in the tiny, quiet choices.

Getting out of bed when it’s hard. Drinking water. Texting a friend. Asking for help. Choosing to believe you deserve more.

These are not small things. These are victories. And they deserve to be seen.

So, Here’s What I Want You to Know:

You are not behind. You are not broken. You are not too much or too little.

You are learning. Growing. Becoming.
And that is beautiful.

Loving yourself might feel awkward at first — like wearing a jacket that doesn’t quite fit yet. But give it time. One day, it won’t just fit — it’ll feel like home.

And until then, be gentle with yourself. You’re doing better than you think. 💛